Conclusion

I know I had days where I was easily frustrated with the way things were run in Mr. Maudsley's classroom, but overall I'm thankful I had the experience. I definitely will take a few learned lessons with me into my future classroom. 

First off, I'll keep in mind to try to be patient with all of my students no matter what their situation is. Whether they are struggling or trying their hardest I need to remember that not everybody learns at the same pace and losing my cool is not the correct solution. I never explicitly lost my cool at Classic City but I definitely got worked up and frustrated with students that I wasn't even individually working with. I need to remember that they may have their own issues going on in their life and maybe school is the place where they take it all out. 

I have also learned that as a teacher, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. In other words, I initially judged Emma by the way she dressed and I shouldn't have. I thought that because she wore holey jeans, had orange hair, and multiple piercings that she would not be an easy student to work with. Little did I know, Emma is one of the most respectful and sweet young girls I have ever worked with. Her motivation will get her far in life and it didn't take long for her personality to shine through.

The last and probably most important lessons I learned was that I will not give up on students, whether they are A students or failing students. I witnessed several times where Mr. Maudsley would overlook those chatty students when they were the ones who needed the most help. Although it may be easier to have the problem students play on the computer and chat quietly with their neighbors because it means they won't interrupt your lesson, they are not getting anything in return from you. There were so many instances where I was just as fed up with their behavior as Mr. Maudley's, but I have to remember that these students have a future and without them succeeding in school, they don't have a great chance to fulfill it like I know they want to.

Mr. Maudley is probably one of, if not the, coolest teachers I've ever had the pleasure of working with before. He teaches these students hours upon hours a day, five days a week. I am so impressed by his ability to take each class with a blank slate and as a new start. There were times when I wanted to tell certain students to leave the classroom, but he always handled the situations calmly and in a cool manner. I absolutely loved watching Emma's relationship with him grow and just the love that Mr. Maudsley has for these students truly does inspire me to be the best teacher I can be.

Day 10

I'm not really sure how I feel about today being my last day at Classic City High School. Part of me is relieved because I got so worked up so many times over the students not putting in effort, but the other part of me is a little bummed I won't get to see Emma again before she graduates.
I was happy to see what Mr. Maudsley had planned for today because it gave me a chance to observe other students than just Emma. They were presenting their projects they had been working on the past few days of different invasive species. I was surprised to see how excited many of them were to present which is usually abnormal in other classrooms I've been in. They were asked to research an invasive species and had a checklist of important facts they should include within the Powerpoint and they all seemed to have done a great job. Another thing I noticed as they were presenting was that most of them knew the information and didn't read straight from the slide which is something that many students tend to do.
Watching the presentations was a great end to Classic City and it gave me a sense of hope for the struggling students. It showed me that as long as a student is actively engaged and interested in the topic, they will most likely be successful in that area of study. Although it is impossible for a teacher to cater to every single interest of all the students in his/her class, it's something to keep in mind and think about.
At the end of class, I thanked Emma for allowing me to work with her all semester and wished her luck with graduation and the end of the year finals and assignments she had.
To be honest, I'm not really worried about Emma or where she'll end up. She is motivated, respectful and has such a full heart that I know she will exceed at whatever she decides to do. I just hope she doesn't get burnt out before graduation or let other students' poor progress affect her of her own.

Day 9

Today was a little different than the usual Wednesday. The first half of the class I sat at the table with Emma and listened to Mr. Maudsley lecture. After that, he paired me with one of the struggling students and informed me that she would be working on her definitions. I was expecting to help explain some of the vocabulary words or even look them up on the internet with her to give her a few different ways the word is described. Mr. Maudsley had something different in mind though. He gave me two worksheets with the definition of an atom and ion at the top and numbered one through thirty below that. His instructions were to have her rewrite the definition thirty more times. I was a little shocked at this at first but apparently he's had them do this before because she didn't ask any questions and began writing right away. I wasn't really sure how he wanted me to help her because she was busy copying down the definition over and over again so I just sat there and watched her for the remainder of the class.

I didn't really feel as if I had a productive day and I'm not sure if this student did either. I've listened to multiple lectures from Mr. Maudsley and he always does a great job at explaining concepts so I wasn't sure why he was having her learn the definitions this way. Maybe he tried explaining these words to her before and she just didn't catch on? Whatever the reason, I personally didn't see this as being effective. He claimed it would be because at the end of writing the definition thirty times, she would have the definition ingrained in her head. I was thinking to myself that she can memorize anything he tells her to memorize but she still may not understand fully what she is writing down.  

This got me thinking about the way they run things at Classic City High School. Mr. Maudsley doesn't have the students use the computers unless they are working on an assignment for another class, but I've heard of other tutors who come and literally sit at a computer for the entire class period. Many of them complete practice tests and assignments to prepare themselves for the EOCT but get absolutely nothing out of it because they just put an answer down and receive credit for their work. I know Mr. Maudsley didn't do this but the assignment he had this student was a similar concept. I don't see what she got out of writing down a definition thirty times unless she understood the term, which I'm guessing she didn't based off of the fact that she was the only student working on it. Overall, I'm not trying to bash Mr. Maudsley because I think he's a fantastic teacher. I just don't agree with the assignment he had her complete today and thought it was a little pointless for me to be there today. 

Day 8

Today we did something different than we have ever done before and I really enjoyed it! Mr. Maudsley had the students who needed extra help work in pairs on a worksheet and the students who were doing well in the class so far work on a lab which was interesting to see considering I haven't done a lab like this since high school. I was a little bummed to find that the students weren't as interested or excited about the lab as Mr. Maudsley and me were, but it was still a lot more fun than sitting there and observing like I have done most of the previous classes.
We basically produced a stream of electricity using batteries, a lightbulb, a cord, and lemons. Mr. Maudsley had each of the participating students have a turn and see what they created. It was a bit humorous to see the students' reactions to the experiment because after each of them would take their turn and create electricity, they brushed it off as if it wasn't "that cool" because they didn't want to be the nerdy science geek who thinks science is interesting. I could tell from the way their eyes lit up that they were clearly somewhat fascinated by what they had just created but they didn't want to explicitly show it. On the other hand, Mr. Maudsley was so excited to show them the experiment and I think he was expecting more of a surprised reaction from the students, but he could see through them just like I could.
I've noticed Mr. Maudsley's relationship with Emma grow since my first day at Classic City and I think that is one of the main reasons I respect her so much. She simply respects her teacher for his job and makes a genuine effort to show him she appreciates what he does. After her turn during the lab she said in a nonchalant voice, "This was cool, Mr. Maudsley." For some reason, that just warmed my heart so much. Part of it was because many of the students don't respect him for what he does and ignore him, but the other part was because I realized how much of a genuine person Emma is. I would have never guessed there would be a girl with such a sweet heart in an alternative school, especially one like Classic City.

Day 7

I really enjoyed today, which is very good considering the day I had last week. I guess being in my bad mood last Wednesday, I completely forgot to even ask Emma and Taylor how they did on their test. They both got A's which was fantastic and I was very happy for them! Something that I have noticed is that they don't get overly happy when they receive a good grade. When I praised them both for getting A's, they responded in a way that said, "Thanks, but it's really not that big of a deal." I've heard them say things like, "I feel like a genius in this class," and, "This is such a joke." I started talking with them during the warm up and realized that they notice the poor motivation of their fellow students as well which affects them and their opinion on their own progress. They compare themselves to the other students and believe that just because they receive an A on an assignment or test doesn't necessarily mean they are smart themselves. They think that they are just smarter than the other students who they see not even trying. This made me a little sad because both of these girls are smart beyond belief and I give them so much credit for trying to graduate early. Yes, they may be in a class full of students who fail most of their assignments and don't try at all, but they need to see that their good grades and motivation count for something. I was very surprised with their reaction to their grades that I didn't even know how to respond without bashing the other students. I want them to know how much their effort means to me, as a tutor, and how it really shows their character. I wasn't expecting to come into this and learn to appreciate effort because I've always grown up trying in everything I do. I have to remember that some students aren't as fortunate as me to be surrounded with positive motivation.
For some reason, today brought me to another one of our book club books called The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap. The author discusses in the introduction how the traditional family is collapsing and has been for the past few years and I think today has made me notice it drastically. In "the good ole days," the typical traditional family has been considered happy, successful, and consists of a married couple, but to me it has changed so much. I've overheard many students at Classic City talking about their "baby daddy" which is definitely not part of the traditional family. Emma and Taylor both have divorced parents which is also not considered an aspect of the traditional family. Not only in Classic City have I noticed these changes but in my everyday life with the people who surround me. So many people and their families that I know are drifting from the typical traditional family and I think it is affecting students now and their life goals. For example, some students at Classic City may have grown up with single parents and have been forced to work to help provide for their families. This could be one of the main reasons why they are not as motivated to finish school because they just want to get a job and be done with the whole ordeal. I think I need to stop being as harsh when I talk about the struggling students because I honestly don't know what they have been through or what their family life is like. It's just difficult to have sympathy sometimes for them when they continuously don't show any signs of caring or effort.

Day 6

I am beginning to see a routine with Mr. Maudsley's class and to be honest, I really don't see how it is effective for the students who don't seem motivated which is most of the African American students (not to sound racist, that's just how it seems). The class begins with Mr. Maudsley putting the warm up activity on the overhead projector which literally comes straight from their notes from the previous day. All they have to do is flip their notebooks a page or two back and they have the answer, which is what I've seen Emma and Taylor doing the past few weeks. Almost the entire rest of the class, with the exception of two other students, is either chatting, up walking around the classroom, or on the computer listening to music videos. This frustrates me so much because Classic City High School has a waiting list for students who actually want to attend the school and students are getting turned away left and right because there is simply no room for them in the classes. Then, I come as a tutor and see the majority of the class either not even present, or sitting down completely disengaged. I don't know why this works me up so much but in my opinion, these students just need to leave if they are not going to put in the effort. I can see Mr. Maudsley wants to help and is willing to put in the effort but he can only do so much.
Today, I noticed at least four students were absent compared to last week, which is fairly simple to notice considering the class size. I asked Emma where everyone was and she explained that "a lot of students got kicked out last week." This surprised me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I kind of saw it coming for them. It was weird because I was almost relieved that they were gone. I know this may sound horrible because I am a future teacher and should want to help these unmotivated students but after a while, it's just draining. Mr. Maudsley told me at the end of the class, "To be honest, it's for the best. They were distracting and it was making my job difficult." This is exactly how I reacted to the situation but it felt comforting to know that he felt the same way as I did.
Overall, I didn't do much today but observe during his lecture. I talked a little with Emma and Taylor towards the end of the class but for some reason was very frustrated today. Hopefully next week will be better and I'll begin to see more progress with some other students.

Day 5

Today was a lot like the last few days I've spent here at Classic City High School, except I got to work a little more with Emma and Taylor which I liked. Mr. Maudsley handed the class a study guide for the test they will have tomorrow and asked me to help anyone who needed help. He doesn't ever really give me specific instructions, like who to work with, so I usually work with the two girls at my table because they are the only ones in the classroom who seem to actually care about school.
I originally went in today telling myself I would try working with another student- one who seemed completely helpless and someone who would provide a challenge for me but within the first five minutes of class, I realized why I have been putting that off. The majority of the students in this class are so disrespectful and unmotivated it frustrates me so much. They are constantly talking while he is talking and playing on their phones. They interrupt him while hes speaking to ask to use the restroom and some just leave without saying a word. I keep wondering why they are even here because it seems to me like they're wasting their time. Mr. Maudsley seems to have given up on most of them as well which is a little depressing but I guess I can see why. This brought me back to the second book we studied in this class, Racialized identities: Race and achievement among African American youth. The author dscusses the difference between a "ghetto" African American and one that contributes to society. I feel that the majority of the students here would be considered under the "ghetto" category just because of the general dynamics of Athens and the surrounding areas that these students may live in. Many of these students come back from their lunch break high, speak out in class, and sag their pants like crazy. This "ghetto" identity could very well be directly related to why these students are so unmotivated when it comes to school.
Anyways, today went very well. Emma and Taylor seemed very prepared for their test and I felt like I almost didn't even need to be there because they understood everything. I'm looking forward to next week to see how they did on it!

Day 4

Today, I worked a little more individually with Emma, which I enjoyed a lot. The class was asked to use their notes from the previous day to fill in the blanks on the handout. I really didn't have to help her much because she seemed to know what she was doing, however she seemed interested and respectful of the fact that I was interested in helping her. As she was filling out her worksheet, she told me about her boyfriend who is three years older than her, which kind of shocked me but I guess is relatively normal considering the types of students who attend Classic City High School. We talked about Valentines Day and how he took her out to dinner and bought her a stuffed teddy bear and the more I talked with her, the more I noticed her genuine confidence within herself. This trait is such an rare one to see within young girls, especially ones in an alternative high school but I was so intrigued by the way she carried a conversation and herself in general, I couldn't help but love our conversation and the time I spent with her today. I don't know if Emma opened up to me more because of the fact that I had been there a few times so she felt more comfortable or because I made an effort to get to know her but I definitely learned today that there is more to some of these students than meets they eye. A few weeks ago, I don't think I would have never noticed this side of her if I didn't take the time to ask questions about her personal life and show that I was interested, but I now can see how much such a small gesture can make a difference.

Day 3

Today, I did much of what I did last week and sat with Emma and Taylor, the same two girls as before. The teacher lectured and again, the two girls at my table were the only ones out of the entire class who took notes. During Mr. Maudsley's lecture, I noticed a big of commotion at the table behind me with two African American students sitting at it, one boy and one girl. I knew what my duties were as a tutor and was not about to ask them to be quiet and respectful during his lecture. I could tell Mr. Maudsley was getting irritated because multiple times, he looked at the students chatting loudly trying to make eye contact with them in order to signal to them to be quiet. They continued to chat and instead of asking them to quit talking, Mr. Maudsley finally said, "Hey guys, can you keep it down back there? Some of us up front are trying to pay attention." This was unlike anything I had ever heard from a teacher before because he basically told these students that it was okay to talk during his lecture, but to just "keep it down." They weren't working on any project or assignment that would require them to disregard his lecture for the day so I was a bit confused. After thinking on it for a while I began to think that he just simply does not have much control over these students. I think he has learned over time that they are going to do what they want to do and telling them to stop talking would take a lot more effort than you think and cause so many more issues than needed and he just doesn't want to deal with that.
This one instance really upset me because Mr. Maudsley is such a sweet, genuine man and he doesn't deserve to be disrespected like that. But did he even consider these students as being "disrespectful" if they followed his instructions and just lowered their voices during his lecture? Throughout the class today, he had to ask them two more times to "lower their voices." For some reason, this irritated me that Mr. Maudsley didn't put his foot down and either tell them to stop talking or send them outside if they wanted to continue their conversation. I think it is because I have grown up in such a sheltered childhood and in school, it was a followed rule by all students to keep your mouth shut when someone else, especially a teacher was talking.
I was immediately reminded of the book The Bully Society that we read in our book club. Jessie Klein says, "The punitive tendency to suspend and expel students ‘fails to diagnose or address the real problem.’ This discipline-and-punish approach fails to mitigate the violence in our schools and in the worst cases actually nurtures it." (239). I began to consider that Mr. Maudsley had probably taught at Classic City for a while now and had learned that punishment and negative reactions aren't the best route to take with these kids. Klein explains that it actually makes it worse. When you are dealing with students in an alternative school, they most likely don't deal well with the traditional school and rules so maybe Mr. Maudsley does take the most effective approach by not punishing them.

Day 2

Today, I was placed in Mr. Maudsley's science classroom and wasn't paired up with a specific student. His classroom is a little more lecture based than I had hoped but it gave me a chance to observe multiple students rather than just one. I sat at a table with the only two white girls in the classroom and could begin to tell that they were both very bright young ladies. I originally thought that Classic City was strictly for those students who got pregnant and/or kicked out of the regular public schools, but after talking to these two girls I realized students could voluntarily attend the PLC as well. They both stressed their hatred for the traditional school and how much they just wanted to graduate high school, get a job, and move on with their lives. This surprised me, but in a good way. I just would never have guessed that from a first glance because they were both extremely edgy-looking girls with their haircuts, piercings and ripped jeans.

After everybody completed the warm up activity, Mr. Maudsley began asking for volunteers to share their answers. When realizing nobody wanted to share, he immediately called on Emma, one of the two girls at my table, to answer the question. She answered it correctly and he went on to the next question. Again, nobody raised their hand to share their answer so Mr. Maudsley asked the other girl at my table and she answered it correctly as well. I could begin to tell that this was a habit for Mr. Maudsley. I think he tries to give students a fair chance to answer and learn but when nobody puts in the effort, he asks the students who he knows have the correct answers and then moves on. Initially I thought he was simply taking the easy way out, but I then thought that I would probably do the same exact thing if I were him. Being in a classroom for an extended period of time with very few students who show interest in learning can be draining.

For the rest of the class, Mr. Maudsley lectured and students were given the choice to take notes if they chose to or just listen. I looked around the classroom and noticed that the only two students taking notes were Emma and the other girl at my table. The class was small enough as it is (about 14 students) and I could literally count on one hand how many were actually paying attention. Two students were on the computers listening to music videos and chatting while other students continuously got up and left the classroom to go to the bathroom, or so they said. I'm not sure if Mr. Maudsley is just very oblivious and doesn't notice these distractions going on in class or what, but I think after a few more observations, I'll be able to tell.

Day 1

Today marked the beginning of my experience tutoring at the PLC and to be completely honest, my experience surprised me a lot. Before today, I had never been to an alternative school of any kind so I didn't really know what to expect. I guess in a sense I was expecting the school to be unorganized and chaotic but it was the furthest from that.
Today I got paired with Trey, a student who was working on a practice social studies test to prepare him for graduation, which he hopes to attend in a few months. I am not, nor have I ever been, a social studies kind of person but I worked with who Mrs. Mimi paired me with and didn't ask questions. We sat in one of the computer labs and began the online assessment. I was a bit surprised by how much he was unprepared for the assignment and sensed he really did not want me there. I didn't want to overstep my boundaries as a tutor but I could tell he was not putting much effort into these questions. I began to ask questions like, "Why do you think C is the answer?" to get Trey to think a little deeper into the practice test but it didn't seem to help because every question somehow got directed back at me and my thoughts on the question. In a way, I felt as if he was taking advantage of me and using my help to speed up this whole process. After some time, I began to ask him questions about when he was wanting to graduate and what his goals were. I learned that Trey is a father of two children, one 2 months old and the other 8 months old. He wants to go to an all black college after graduating from the PLC and play football there. These two details about his life alone completely blew me away. So many thoughts were rushing through my head as he was telling me about his life and I was so in shock at the difficult place he was at in it. I tried to give him as much motivation as I could on the spot and told him I thought it would be best for him to stick with school because he is expected to be a good father by two different young women.
Although today was unlike anything I have ever experienced before, I liked my first time at the PLC. I thought I may have actually motivated him a little bit and it felt very good to feel like I made a difference. I can't wait to see what else this school has in store for me!